The Power of Food...Both Good and Bad
I pinned the poster below yesterday on Pinterest and later on Facebook because it resonated with me. Women, oh, are you with me? How many of you have a powerful relationship with food?
Soon after posting it on Facebook a comment was left that expressed disappointment with the appearance of this message on the House of Fifty site. And after the initial "ouch," I appreciated what she had to say because it gave me insight to how another might take the words, and it also made me stop to clarify my own thoughts.
The comment was:
"I don't think there is anything healthy about the condescending tone of this statement. This is the kind of thing found on body shaming, pro-anorexia "thinspo" pinterest boards, and it is NOT what I come to House of Fifty to read. I am very disappointed by the content. Instead of posting a recipe for ice cream sandwiches followed by a statement meant to shame people for eating, how about posting some healthy recipes on your facebook feed?"
It's a good thing I long ago got okay (well, mostly okay) with people not agreeing with me! I really do appreciate how criticism causes me to pause and think a little deeper about a situation, to not only more thoroughly consider my point of view but theirs.
So I replied:
"I respect what you are saying. But let me share my personal approach to food: I do tend to focus on healthy food choices because they simply make me feel better, but I'm okay with enjoying a treat here and there, because I enjoy them and to deprive oneself leads to more extreme behaviors. I personally know how food has a powerful emotional component and when I am stressed I often reach for food without asking if I am hungry or thirsty, and often thirst can be mistaken for hunger. Because of this, I personally feel this poster provides a positive message, albeit strong, for staying in tune with why we are making certain food choices throughout the day...helping us to live our best lives by feeling healthy."
I do feel passionate about this topic, women and food: we use it to nourish ourselves, our families and friends, to show love to others and sometimes as a way to feel loved ourselves. Food has a tremendous power to lift us up in health and celebration and a terrible power to tear us down when used as a drug to mask stress, hurts, anger and disappointments. I think any dialog around gaining awareness about our personal relationship with food is a positive one, though not always an easy one.
31 comments:
I can see how this image might have been taken the wrong way...but I took it as a positive statement too. It *is* easy to just snack out of boredom, or sadness, or loneliness....and that's not a good cycle to get into.
You've got such a great way with words, Janell. I like the way you disagree with people in such a friendly way - you have a knack!!
By the way, I posted about you today on Modern Country Style. It's flagging up the Modern Country Style feature in House of Fifty but I also wanted to take the opportunity to sing your praises...and this post is a good example of why!
Sarahxx
I am leaning towards agreeing with the comment that this is a condescending poster. I think it would be more positive if it was phrased in the first person ("I am not hungry, I am bored").
That said, I do often eat when bored, and know this is a problem! That is why I have gotten rid of all processed junk food in our house. If we don't make it, we don't eat it. It keeps the junk to a minimum, and helps us make healthier choices, because it is a whole lot easier to eat a peach than to make a peach pie! :-)
I was not offended by your post as I have a difficult relationship with food and will reach for something whern I am stressed. It is so important to know this and to divert yourself if that is the case. There is an abbreviation used at AA to assess how you feel "HALT". I was recently reminded of this when reading a book on stress. It stand for: hungry, angry, lonely and tired. I think this is a good way to assess yourself when you are responding in a way that is negative, whether you are responding unkindly to someone or making poor food choices.
I'm putting myself in your corner for this one. I put way too much food in my mouth, stress, boredom, thirst, you name it. As a result my body is waaay bigger than it should be. That saying is definitely something I need to remember.
I might print this out as well, I never drink enough.
I often wonder why people feel the need to make comments like this. If you don't like something, just click away and go somewhere else. You can, and should, post whatever you want.
You handled it very well.
I'm thirsty.
Agreeing with you! It amazes me how many people get offended over post like this. If you find it offensive, don't read it. It was a health tip- plain and simple. Obesity is a growing epidemic in this country- so many kids are gaining weight like their parents because of eating habits, poor food choices, etc. This is just a great tip to keep in mind- grab a glass of water to see if they are really hungry or if they were thirsty and didn't realize it. I think some people need to take a deep breath and stop taking things so personally- not everyting is meant to be offensive. :)
Thanks for posting a helpful tip!
One of the things I admire about you the most is how you write. (Even more than your DIY skills.) You have such an intelligent way of getting a message across.
I agree with Sarah. You do have a way with words.
And for the record, I love the poster! When I first saw it, I thought I should print it out & keep it by my computer. That is where I do all of my mindless eating.
Your statement was totally positive and enlighting. Every statement that I read do not apply to me and I refuse to take them all personally. I agree with your poster and women do need to know the difference between hunger and thrist.
I didn't find the quote negative at all, it actually made me stop and think about my own personal eating habits. I think when you're a popular writing you're never going to have everyone agree with you and that's perfectly fine and especially if you talk about women and food or woman who work vs women that don't and child raising you're always going to get some feedback that may differ from you. My opinion is always to respect people's feelings on an issue and politely agree to disagree.
I'd re-pinned this before I read what you wrote so I certainly don't share the criticism. And I need another: You are not hungry, you are tired. Go take a nap.
As someone who has been reading your blog for a couple of years now, I feel I "know" you enough to realize your true intent wasn't to chastise, offend or criticize. If the only consequence of poor eating habits were physical appearance, I could see how people might be offended by statements like this. The fact is poor eating habits are the cause of horrible and life-ending health problems. I say this as a person who has been obese and constantly struggles to practice healthy eating habits. Frankly, I was grateful for the reminder! Keep doing what you do so fabulously Janell - informing, encouraging and inspiring.
When I first saw this I immediately thought of my kids...without fail, if they are bored they ask for a snack - even if they've just had one 30 min ago. This is not about shunning food but about being mindful and conscious of why and how we are eating. I am just as guilty of grabbing something to snack on out of boredom or habit as my kids. Sometimes we all just need a tall glass of water. You handled this very gracefully, Janell!
I agree with the commenter that the poster has a very condescending tone. And it doesn't promote healthy eating, it promotes not eating at all!
I really like House of Fifty and hope it does not become a place where dissenting opinions aren't allowed.
Jeanette people comment in the negative for the same reason they comment in the positive - because they have a point of view!
Kara,
I'm glad you left this comment, I always welcome opinions that are different than mine, it is what makes the world an interesting place and points of view that are different than mine always teaches me something. It doesn't mean I'll always agree (see my Editor's Letter in the Anniversary issue) and I may have something to say in response, but differences of opinion are welcome.
Thanks for everyone's comments, on both sides, Janell
Quick story with food: I lost 65lbs in 2009 by joining a herbal weight loss company with a 'magic' pill. It was quick, pretty painless, and I felt awesome! Within 6 months I had my almost goal and stopped going in. Once I started eating 'normal' again I began to regain weight. Since then I've gained back 30 lbs despite the fact that I eat really well and exercise like a crazy woman. I killed my metabolism. I've learned that food is not the enemy. Food is good, and important and wonderful! But I mean food, not packages with food in them. Real food. And that is what's building my body back to health and real weight loss this time...real sustainable loss. I'm not bashing the herbal company with the magic pill, because I think sometimes, we all need help and a boost, but what I am learning on this amazing journey, is that, ultimately, I am the only one who knows my body, what I put in it and what I can get out of it. Its really my call how I plan on living in it to the fullness of all my body can give me. So, peace and food are coming, peace in my body is coming, and freedom is a bite away. Literally.
I don't find it offensive...it happens tobe true in my case!
It seems like lately, everyone is super sensitive to this kind of thing. But the message says exactly the right thing. It's not saying "never eat". It means what it says. So many of us eat out of boredom, sadness, etc. We need, sometimes, to be reminded to listen to our bodies and really tune in to what's happening, not just stuff food in our mouths. Or is that just me?
Good for you! I love your reply--did she respond back? Interesting. I feel exactly like you do and have gone thru Weight Watchers for years and need to slap myself when I just pick or nibble endless bags of things...Food can make you healthy or sick, simple as that.
Love your VOICE Janell! You are in the right biz!
Nancy
Powellbrowerhome.com
Wasn't offended. I actually don't "get" how it promotes unhealthy eating habits? It's true! People eat when they are bored! I immediately thought of my kids. When I ask them to do something other than computers or electronic games they ask if there is anything to eat and it drives me crazy! We eat healthy foods and they are not hungry , they are just bored. They need to drink a glass of water and learn the difference.
However, I think itnis good to say what you think, if it is done politely. If you put anything out in the public domain, people will read it, and if it bothers them, they should say something. I would. Just telling them to stop reading and ignore it is not helpful. They should say something. Politely is key.
I did not find if offensive either.. just sounds like good advice - for people of all sizes (skinny ones included). Your response was well-worded and polite. You are definitely a class act ;o)
I really like that you point out that it's not about being offensive or not. It's about perspective. We all come from such different backgrounds and have so many different issues that it's great to be open to the idea that others don't think the way you do.
To me, that has always been a sign of intelligence and class, particularly since your response was so measured. I wrote a post recently about handling conflict on the Internet: http://www.thepickygirl.com/?p=2546
But the poster definitely resonates with me. I'm never bored, but I'm an emotional eater. If I'm sad or even down in the dumps, food is the only thing that makes me feel better. It's a horrible relationship to have, and I'm slowly slowly trying to rectify it.
I think it is a brilliant poster, and if you don't mind, I'm going to post in on my Facebook page. It is absolutely spot on. I am constantly having to remind myself to ask if I'm hungry or bored. Usually I'm bored.
I don't see the problem of indulging in the occasional treat, just not when we're bored.
I think some people read too much into things and with that said there is not one thing wrong with this poster, I should print it and glue it to my fridge because whether you like to admit it or not we eat because we are bored!!! and that is one huge truth--I do it myself for one and learning not too. I did loose 58 lbs by really paying attention folks!!!! thank you for posting this one!!
Thanks for those of you who weighed in, ha, no pun intended, much appreciated. And esther, congratulations on the weight loss! Janell
:( Let's not forget 925 million people in the world are hungry. 16,000 children die from hunger related causes every day. That's 1 child every 5 seconds.
Hi Janell--
I appreciate this post and I see the positive outcome it has had on your reader base.
Just by posting this 'poster-sign'...you've brought an important issue to the forefront.
Awareness is key no matter how it is taken...
I don't agree with the sights that promote starvation as a means of weight loss or lifestyle.
I for one took this poster to heart BECAUSE of the priority I put on food. I put it first instead of asking my body if food is really what I need...
I think many of us can testify to putting too much priority on food (insert VICE....HERE) , rather than what our bodies need. People that starve themselves to be thin are not doing that. NEED is not a priority for them. That's why they are starving- at the same time, people like myself, who have struggled with being heavy most of their adult life also confuse the issue of NEED vs. WANT.
I was thinking what a blessing it is to be minding your own blogging business and making a statement that has brought these issues to light. Unlike me, who just blogs and hardly ever brings about controversial or thought provoking conversations. Bravo! to you.
It's called making a difference, I think.
I enjoyed this post and comments, Pat
Hi Janell!
I have issues with food, and I have issues with weight, and I reallly have issues with people addressing those issues. HA! As one of those overly sensitive types, I have to say your poster did not offend me in the least!
I grew up with a father who was a very good man, but had very defined ideas about weight. He would openly comment about my mothers weight and I know how badly it brought her down. I don't remember a time in my childhood that she wasn't on one kind of diet or another. When she got to the point that she gave up caring what he thought, he started turning it on me (albeit, much less agressively). I think as an adult I've gone the "its my body and I like to eat, so back off" route because of that. But now I'm paying the price for that too!
This poster is genius! I've actually printed it out and placed it on my computer screen at work. And while I understand that it could be misconstrued, I don't believe it tells the reader in anyway to NEVER eat...simply drink a glass of water..find a project...if you're still hungry after 30 minutes to an hour...then eat. Learning when to catch yourself is the hardest part, I think it's what people struggle with the most. Good for you for putting it out there!!!
Hmmm... I didn't think much about the post. I thought it was funny and made me think about myself and I've started to grab a glass of water first to see what happens. I've even started to grab a glass of water while I'm out eating before my meal comes so that I won't eat as much while at the restaurant. I respect everyones opinion/point of view. I don't like it when they attack you with it.
As always, your response was perfect.
I applaud that you will allow a commenter to post a differing opinion. Most design bloggers will not but then go on to post about the "haters" (which I feel is an unfair term) and that creates such a negative environment all-around.
It's those types that I've stopped reading because whether their design blog is more of a hobby or career, they really are presenting themselves as professionals and professionals have to be able to handle opposing views in order to become better at what they do, no matter the field.
Thanks!
I love this! Every once in a while we all need a good swift kick in the butt! Thanks for sharing...and re-motivating me!!
I love this! Every once in a while we all need a good swift kick in the butt! Thanks for sharing...and re-motivating me!!
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