Finally! A System That Has My Kids Doing Chores With No Complaining

I've tried a lot of different methods to inspire my kids to pitch in around the house, with a minimum of resistance, including an allowance based on the assumption they would have to earn it. But nothing had provided the results I was striving for; a system which would encouraged the kids to contribute to the household while helping them learn the value of money and that things just don't fall in one's lap - things and privileges have to be earned!

Then one day the simplest of solutions came to mind and I just knew it would work. The idea grew from the frustration I would experience when the kids would ask for stuff, refer back to an allowance amount they knew was coming on Friday, so hey, could they just borrow against that for the item they wanted in the moment? And all the requests for activities: hosting sleepovers and my taking them and their friends on a whole range of outings without understanding or appreciating the effort, time and cost required to provide this convenient joy ride! It was becoming all too clear I was not creating the opportunity for them to learn a key lesson which will help them be successful in life; that you have to earn what you want, and it's best if you earn before you spend!

So here's our new plan, and several weeks in it's working like a charm. By doing chores and contributing around the house they earn a point, and when they want something it costs them a point. That's it. I told you, easy peasy!

Empty the dishwasher, put away groceries, walk or help groom the dog, clean their bedroom, their bathroom, fold the laundry and deliver the piles to the appropriate room, dust, help with yard work, take out the trash... and any other task I need help with throughout the day or week. For each accomplished job they earn a point, and it's their responsibility to mark it on the chalkboard in the kitchen.

Then when they want something, they have to spend a point. So you want a Jamba juice, wish to invite friends over for a sleepover or be taken to the mall? It costs a point. At first they resisted saying, "Hey, this is a big job, shouldn't this be more than one point?!" Or when they went to spend a point they argued, "A whole point for this?" From past experiences it's obvious we don't stick to any system that's complicated, so with the goal of keeping things simple for success I said no. "Pitch in and you earn a point, when you want something you spend a point." Simple, easy to understand, no complications or debates on what a particular job or reward is worth. And if they want something and they don't have a point to spend, well they have to figure out how to earn one quick or go without. Tough? I don't think so.

Yesterday a drink from Starbucks was the desired item and when I said "Sure, but it'll cost you a point," they declined after thinking about it. Now that truly is the whole point of this, and it delighted me to see it in action. They are learning that things cost and you have to have earned it, and occasionally they decide the price is too high and take a pass.

As an unexpected benefit, which is a huge, huge treat for me, I hear very little complaining these days when I ask them to clear the table after dinner and clean up! They get in and get the job done. This has definitely been a satisfying transformation of everyone pitching in to make our household run smoothly. I'm getting much appreciated help while they are learning that things cost (whether it be time, effort or money) and they must earn before they can spend.

And who knows, with the time all this help is freeing up perhaps I'll get to a DIY project or two, like this chalkboard I built for an HGTV tutorial that we now have such a great use for! See how to make one yourself here.

What system works in your house?

DIY Happiness Via A Little Rub 'n Buff

I'm popping in today to say "hello friends" and share a quick little DIY project I worked on last week. 

For some odd reason that I can't explain, I've never been a fan of the strong green tint seen on the edge of some glass. (Apparently this effect is caused by iron in the sand used to make glass, something I didn't know until Googling an inquiry on the topic for this post.) And this tint just happens to be a prominent feature on a Jonathan Adler side table I picked up for a steal at a carpet store closing last year, something I didn't notice until I got it home. Of course.

While the tint kind of bugged me, I didn't give it much thought. (I mean, it is just a table top edge.) Then it randomly occurred to me one day, while placing a book down on the table, that a layer of Rub 'n Buff just might be a simple solution to this "problem." A gold rim around the table instead of the green? Hum, that might look great and can you have too many golden accents these days? I think not!

So with a small dab squeezed from a well loved and nearly empty tube of Rub 'n Buff, I did a test to see if the idea would work. And it did. By simply stippling the glass edge with a bit of the substance on the tip of a finger I could see the green could be effectively covered. Out of product, the next time I was near a Michele's store I made a point to pick up another tube in Antique Gold to finish the job.

I had assumed it would be necessary to tape off the top and bottom surfaces of the glass. But by being careful to work with only a small amount of the mixture on the finger tip, a clean line was easy to achieve at the point around the table where the side met the top surface. You gotta love it when a project turns out to be easier than anticipated. That surely isn't the case in many instances; if you DIY, you know this probably too well! 

And that was that. Green gone, hello gold!

I'm happy with how it brings out the subtle golden brass accents on the table base and ring on its surface. (Though I didn't quite manage to capture that aspect in these pictures.)

It's a small detail, but as they say, it's all in the details!

Apart from this little update I've been enjoying the start to this summer season, my absolute favorite time of year. We are counting down the days until school is let out and having great fun with the opening of a new community center and pool in our neighborhood. A perfect place to meet up with neighborhood friends, mine and the kids. Oh, do I feel spoiled.

Here's to a happy beginning of summer!

Taking A {Little?} Break

I didn't have anything to post about this past Monday, and that was okay I thought. I had an idea for Wednesday. But when it came time to work on that idea I had zero enthusiasm for it. Heck, as the quote below describes, I barely had the "get up and go" to brush my teeth.

via

And so it was with relief I stumbled across this on Pinterest yesterday, it validated my recent state of affairs. Oh okay, this is normal, and it's all just fine. Change is nothing if not unpredictable. I'll post if I have something I feel passionate about sharing, and if I don't, it'll be kind of quiet around here. Take care, you all are the best!

Mother's Day Expectations

A friend of mine has an expectation that a Lulie Wallace painting will be arriving at her house on Mother's Day and I sure do hope she's right. I mean, if you're going to get flowers on Mother's Day, wouldn't it be fabulous to get a bouquet that will last forever? 

I certainly cherish my painting by Lulie, below, a piece I was inspired to pick out after interviewing this fabulous talent for a House of Fifty story.

In my household, however, there most likely won't be any surprises in the gift department as I was mistakenly given the receipts for said items. I track our expenses on a monthly basis and about once a week my husband puts a pile of receipts on my desk for me to log under the appropriate categories. In the latest pile were two receipts I shouldn't have been given. At least not until after Sunday. Oh well. I saw evidence of a couple things I've been wanting and I'll be very happy to have them. (I think my feet will be better dressed and my plants more easily watered after Sunday, that's just a suspicion.)

Where I do anticipate there will some surprise involved is in regard to an essay I've heard from Max he has been working on at school for Mother's Day. I probably shouldn't know about this either, but one day when I picked him up from school he was all in a huff about the teacher's feedback on a paper he was writing.

"Oh? Tell me about it, what's going on?"

"I'm supposed to be writing about you, a Mother's Day story thing, and I wanted to write about how you run our house and take care of everyone but the teacher told me I couldn't do that. She said I have to write about how I appreciate your volunteering at school."

Ah... what!? "Does your teacher have me confused with another mother?"

"I know! You don't volunteer!" 

Yes, sadly that is the case. I have attended and helped during all the various parties throughout the year, donating supplies to each, but Max and I both know that doesn't really count as volunteering in the classroom on a regular basis. 

"Max, I hope you can figure out a way to write what feels genuine and authentic to you and have it be acceptable to your teacher, because only then will it mean something to you and be special for me." 

I have faith he will have succeeded, in some way.

But back to Mother's Day expectations. What an absolute blessing it is to be a mother. It has without doubt proven to be one of my life's biggest joys and that is the best gift one can hope for.  

To all you moms out there, here's to a wonderful Mother's Day!

Currently Listening To: 'I Feel Bad About My Neck'

I just finished listening to this book, a series of essays narrated by the author herself, and it was fabulous.

{listen yourself via Audible if you wish}

Parts were poignantly sad, as Nora Ephron is no longer with us, but perhaps because of this her words resonated with truth while being laugh out loud funny in passage after passage.

My favorite essay is entitled 'On Maintenance'

Oh did this section hit home! Lately I've become nearly obsessed with how much effort it takes me on a daily basis just to maintain my appearance: hair, skin, nails, feet, hands, exercise and oh yes, that neck. And, to my dismay and frustration, all of this maintenance in the department of my physical appearance goes towards simply hanging on to the status quo. To consider striving for any improvement seems to be an illusive and overly ambitious goal! If you are under 30, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but alas you will. 

While not far behind for essays that resonate is 'Parenting in Three Stages' 

Here she explores just how did parenting become the vocation it is today. We are no longer simply parents, rather we are deeply engrossed in the role of parenting through the influence of the "parenting movement." It's not enough to give birth and provide the basic needs of a growing child, apparently we now have to do things to change the child. Your parenting results in who your child ends up being. I think this is something - without realizing it - that so many of us have bought into and it is refreshing to hear such beliefs dissected and explored, providing a moment to reassess our role as parents. As a friend with grown children shared with me a couple years ago, "We take far too much credit for both our children's successes and their failures."

I enjoyed this book so much I've downloaded her following and last book, 'I Remember Nothing.'

What are the books you've enjoyed lately?

Breakfast, A Hike & A House Tour

When warm temperatures and sunny skies hit the northwest in early May, you don't want to waste a moment of the day indoors! A great way to start a Sunday is breakfast on the patio at La Provence, grabbing a loaf of bread to take home on the way out. Then just moments away is an expansive state park to explore some trails. It's one of the great things about the Portland area, nature is never far away from the conveniences of the city.

Just pay attention at the forks in the path so you know which way to go when it's time to head back to the car. (We only had to backtrack twice, with Max saying I needed to call 911. Now really? Silly boy.)

And then what's a weekend without a little house hunting? That is what I say at least. So we headed out to tour one of the homes on the annual Ultimate Open House.

This particular home was built as an infill project on a flag lot with great views and a central city location.

The highlights of the home had to be the master bathroom...

... along with views of the river, Mount Hood and the gorgeous bamboo flooring, 

especially when run up the stairway. 

Overall a beautiful home embracing a contemporary northwest style, which had me wishing I could replace the stair carpet with hardwood in my own home! (The downside of house hunting.)

Hope you also had a wonderful weekend!

Thoughts On Not Working: A One Month Check-In

First of all, every mom is a working woman, let's not forget that! But that aside, I thought I'd put down a few observations of the last month since I officially stopped working on House of Fifty. Although all the finishing details were basically wrapped up with the magazine by March, that month saw me on the road for the most part, visiting Nome and then Paris. As a result, it wasn't until my return home the first of April that I could begin to experience what daily life would be like without a full plate of work. One month in I can report there have been days when I can hardly believe my wonderfully good fortune to be allowed the opportunity to step off the crazy wheel of chasing accomplishment and just focus on what is in front of me that given day. Others, I will confess, I have felt lost without the strict structure that comes along with having a long list of things that must be accomplished in a day.

One of the first things I have tended to is the business of our household. While I think I always managed to check off all the "to-do boxes" in both our business and personal lives over the last couple years, in fact many of those things were accomplished in haste - because that's all the time I had! The peace of mind that has come from revisiting all the variables that make up a family life: finances, policies, being on top of grocery shopping and who has what coming up on the calender has significantly increased my sense of well-being. There is not a nagging feeling that important issues are not being addressed properly. Doctor appointments are up to date, teachers are being meet with, summer activities and classes are being selected and I'm taking a whole lot better care of myself. In fact, one of the first things that happened after closing HOF was my arrival in a physical therapist's office. The extended sessions sitting at the computer had done a number on me, causing quite a bit of pain in a hip. But several weeks of therapy, getting back to Pilates, stretching and daily walking has eliminated the problem. It's amazing what being active vs. sedentary can do for your health, comfort level and state of mind!

With the arrival of warm temperatures, I couldn't be happier to have time to enjoy the gorgeous days and surroundings. It's been a refreshing treat to have time to have friends over (without the worry of what article needs to be worked on) for a leisurely evening enjoying a glass of wine in the back yard, meeting up with others for a cup of tea in the morning, and taking the dog for his beloved daily walk.

Aren't he and I lucky to have doggie drinking fountains in our neighborhood? How's that for dog friendly.

A few opportunities have come my way, in the field of writing and design, but when I considered each of them it just didn't feel right to proceed. So, for now it's been really good to simply catch up and just be! 

A Great Reason To Get Moving: Charity Miles!

When my husband told me about Charity Miles it was a no brainer to sign up, as I had just looked at an email updating me on miles logged to date for the month of April.

By simply turning on the Charity Miles app before heading out 

I could have earned $17.50 for a selected charity this past month!

The below are just some of the charities that you can opt to have your miles to go to:

 Pretty fabulous I'd say! Visit Charity Miles yourself by clicking here.

A Summer Ready Porch

Summers are for enjoying our porches, and I just found out it doesn't take a lot of effort or cash to get one ready for the warm days ahead. (Why didn't I do this five years ago upon moving in, that's what I'm asking myself now!)

Early Friday evening, after a quick trip to the nursery to pick up a few colorful plants, a box from Target containing my new happy red bistro set was waiting for me at the front door.

It took all of ten minutes to unpack and set up. I do love Target... and my RedCard with its 5% off all purchases and free shipping! Can't beat that.

Then it was on to potting the colorful plants that I thought would look festive alongside the bright red table and chairs. Yes, it was an exciting Friday night around our house. 

Earlier I'd taken the remaining primer and spray paint left over from the Target table update and breathed new life into an old planter I had on hand, a perfect container for the blooming lavender.

We've already enjoyed the porch a few times this weekend and I know it'll be a great spot on lazy summer days as the kids play in front of the house. Easy, fast and affordable; the best kind of home update!